Half a million people crammed onto Santa Monica Blvd between Doheny and La Cienega? Kevin Federline performing onstage? I'm expected to don my puerile and demeaning costume, again? And I have to work tomorrow?

Yee hah. What are we waiting for?



I'd never been to the West Hollywood Halloween Costume Carnaval [sic], despite (or because of) its reputation as the nation's biggest and craziest, rivaling even the annual affair in Greenwich Village. But this year Hermione and I had robes and wands, and just sitting and waiting for Ogden Drive's dozen or so trick-or-treaters (who was that guy from Seinfeld who came by, again?) wasn't gonna cut it. Plus, we had a Jedi with post-traumatic stress and the city's largest pair of bowling balls to protect us. Even if the Punisher had opted to leave his arsenal, and costume, at home.



What I saw and recorded exceeded the hype. A grander display of inventive, culturally relevant and visually arresting regalia has surely never been witnessed within the borders of this humble nation. I mean, there were enough seven foot-tall drag queens with peacock feathers to make Bill Orally run screaming for the hills in someplace comparatively tame like, say, San Francisco.



Fair and balanced. America's fast food industry was well-represented.



Miss Granger was thrilled to make the acquaintance of Disney's most notorious villainesses. (Hmmmm, their voices were a lot lower than I remember. . .)



Maude felt an odd sense that space and time had folded back upon themselves.



Jedi Sobchak was always ready for danger.



Your holiness? I get that you needed a break from enraging the Muslim world, but, uhh. . . Somehow I didn't think this was your scene.





Who invited the freaks?



There were, indeed, a few political sentiments expressed.



Harry and Hermione were actually quite popular. Many yetis, dead-tyrannosaur-bearing employees of Isla Nublar, Betty Boops and other scantily or excessvely-clad denizens of the night were more than eager to have their pictures taken with yours truly and his witchcraft-practicing, Judeo-Christian Tradition-mocking companion. I felt like Mickey Mouse.

It's never too early to start campaigning. I remember back when Cthulhu was considering a bid, the popular sentiment was, "why vote for the lesser of two evils?"



For a city of sin and sodomy, WH ran quite a good show. The half-million revelers were largely well-behaved and sober. The cops were around but seemed to be enjoying watching the fun. I didn't see any fights, roudiness, or even an exchange of unfriendly words. Viva Samhain.

-jw